09 Jan A [belated] Note to 2014
I hope you don’t mind, but today I’m once again diverging from my usual sugar high. I think that as the new year
approaches begins, it’s important to take a moment to reflect on the last year’s worth of moments, both high and low. You know, for constructive reasons. Bettering yourself and appreciating the ride and all that.
2013 was quite a year for me. I must admit, I’m not exactly sorry to see it go. It’s curious to me how the start of a new year, though in truth is no different than the transfer from one day to the next we experience every 24 hours, can evoke such strong feelings of new beginnings. Perhaps it’s just the human condition – always looking to leave last year’s shortcomings behind for a fresh start.
Even so, I’m thankful for my annual opportunity to recharge. Regardless of whether all that it provides is a false sense of security, I look forward to it. To my clean slate. To strapping on my big girl boots, and charging into the future unknown, refreshed and hopeful.
If you had asked me 1 year ago, where I would be today, my answer would describe a very different setting than the one where I find myself sitting present day. Last January I was in a relationship with a different man, and had a completely different life path being laid out before me. I had plans to move to San Francisco. Hopes for getting engaged. Both were quickly reversed by the hardest break up of my life.
Instead I found myself purchasing a new home, in Austin. Throwing myself into this little website more than ever before, reaching out into the local blogging community and making new blog friends. Finding a new [day] job, and leaving one behind that was unfulfilling and negatively affecting my happiness more than I was aware. And eventually, finding new love. A hopeful kind of love with big blue eyes, the corniest of jokes and the sometimes-a-pest-but-mostly-endearing quality of being nerdy in all the right ways.
2013 taught me a profound lesson in the importance in following one’s heart. You hear the words over and over again. Do what makes you happy. Do what’s best for you. But you know what? Sometimes following that advice sucks. Royally. It is, hands down, the hardest thing in the world to hurt somebody you love. I cannot discount that. Putting your wants and needs above somebody else’s feels selfish and flat out shitty. (Excuse my French.)
It took me a long time to overcome the feelings of guilt that my break up spurred. Actually that’s a lie. I’m still working on it, but I’m making progress. And now, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
In fact, I’m giving myself a little pat on the back! And if my life, as blessed as is it, took some crazy turns in 2013 I bet chances are yours did too. Congrats, we made it through another year! You should be giving yourself a pat on the back too! (Any maybe a couple extra glasses of wine.)
[enter fabulously-girly-and-empowering Beyonce song]
So, 2014, my new friend, how about we let things calm down a little bit? What was that? I think I just heard a distant chuckling and a whisper of Not a chance, Katie.
Bring it on 2014, I’m ready.
A note after the note: As you may have realized, I intended to post this before the New Year. While my intentions were good, obviously my time management needs some work. (New Years resolution, anybody?) I hope you had a sparkly, bubbly New Years celebration with the people who make you happy. Next post – Belize!